Twilight Times Special Feature

 

Steve's Laws of Writing

 

by Steve Lazarowitz

 

  Steve's Law of Submission

When submitting an article or story to a new market, the very next time you look at your copy, you will find an error on the first page.

Steve's Law of Bad Timing

The publication that purchased your piece will go out of business the month before it's scheduled to print it.

The You Should Know Better Principle

The longer you have to wait for an editor to make up his mind, the greater your hope that your piece will be accepted.

Steve's Law of Editorial Injustice

The lines that you like the best, are the ones the editor will insist you remove.

Steve's Law of Critique Groups

A story that you're sure will go over well with your critique group, will be ripped to shreds. Conversely, the story you are sure is garbage is the one that will garner the highest praise.

The Managing Editor Principle

The Editor that loved your novel will leave the company shortly before she sends you an acceptance letter.

Corollary: The Editor that replaces her will send you a rejection slip almost immediately.

Steve's Submission Axiom

You can never remember if you stamped the self-addressed envelope once you've mailed the submission.

Steve's Law of Intellectual Embarrassment

If someone claims that you've misused a word, and you're sure you didn't, it will turn out that you were wrong.

Corollary: The more stupid it makes you look, the more people will be present when you find out.

Steve's First Law of Research

The one fact in any article that you know is true without having to check, will turn out to be wrong.

Corollary: Everyone else you speak to will immediately know that you didn't.

Steve's Second Law of Research

The one piece of research that supports the rest of your premise will turn out to be wrong.

Steve's Third Law of Research

The one fact that you absolutely need to know will be conspicuously absent from every web page and book you can find on the subject.

Steve's Law of New Ideas

Any new idea that comes your way, will only occur to you when you are out and have no pen or paper to record it.

Corollary: By the time you get home, you will have completely forgotten it until the next time you go out without a pen and paper.

Steve's Law of Argumentative Transference

Any editor you've had a vicious argument with will soon end up working for your favorite magazine.

Corollary: Editors never forget a writer that's pissed them off.

Quantitative Summary of Steve's Laws of Writing

It is far easier to write than it is to get published.

Steve's First Law of Writing

No matter how many rejections slips you get, or how much criticism, NEVER forget why you began writing in the first place.

 


Author Bio

Steve Lazarowitz is the chairman of Eguild. His work has appeared in numerous webzines including Twlight Times, Jackhammer, AnotherRealm, The Wandering Troll, Exodus and many, many more.

He has two anthologies coming out early in 2000. A Creative Edge: Tales of Speculation and Dream Sequence (and other Tales from Beyond) available from Crossroads Publishing.

  Read Steve's author interview

Stories by Steve:

Born of Darkness
"Music to my Ears"
"Sea Trap: Part I
"Sea Trap: Part II
"The Tree"

An epic poem
"The Battle

  Visit Steve's web site

 

 

 


 

 
 
 

Copyright © 2000 Steve Lazarowitz. All rights reserved.
 
This page last updated 4-24-00.

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